Darn that iTunes! How dare they not personally tell me what rules are going to impact me? Don't they know my wedding is more important than their silly little copyright rules anyway?

Shame you can't put tableware in your luggage, even if you check it through.

Buh! Buh! My new, expensive flatware from Wal-Mart is rusting! What can I do? (Except for washing it, that is.)

wah wah, my neighbors are so rude, just because I have no sense of time, they take my laundry out of the dryer

Way to blame it on your fucktrophy Kid lady. :P

Edit: Jebus people, relax! fucktrophy = "hey, I had sex, look what I won!" Calm down already! ;D

You're invited to my wedding.  Now gimme some cash!!!

And I want a pony, lady, but I'm not expecting the Internet to get it for me.

Help! Living in an apartment means I can't send mail!

WTF? How does a 33 year-old not know how to send mail from an apartment complex? It's just not that hard.

Strangers, please validate me and say it is ok for me to buy stuff on the interwebs.

I read the instructions and *everything*. I didn't follow them so why oh why am I having such a horrid reaction? Woe iz me!

Will putting paper on lightbulbs make the paper light on fire? Because my landlord is such an ass that if I do it, he'll totally blame the fire on my thoughtlessness.

Um...Yeah, he WOULD blame the fire on you, because it would be YOUR fault.